Rather watch? Here’s my video on this ↓
Hi, my Saltines. Let’s talk about something nobody likes to talk about: people who want to move in.
Times are tough, and a lot of seniors and boomers have something other people want: a home that’s paid for or a place of their own. Most people who ask for help mean well. But some see us as soft-hearted, and they think soft-hearted means easy. We may be soft-hearted, but we are not fools.
Here are the ground rules I’d want you to think about before somebody shows up with a suitcase.
1. Never agree to “until”
Watch out for these:
- “I just want to stay with you until I get on my feet.”
- “Just until I find a job.”
- “Just until I find a place.”
“Until” has no end date. If your place is comfortable, there may be no hurry to find another one. Agree on a number of days, out loud, before they arrive. In many places, a guest who stays more than a few days can start to be treated like a resident, which makes asking them to leave much harder. Check the rules where you live.
2. Their mail does not come to your house
If they’re not living there, their mail shouldn’t be delivered there. They can use a friend’s address or get a P.O. box. Mail at your address can look like proof that they live with you.
3. Set the house rules ahead of time
Most of us are pretty set in our ways, and we like our space. Say what matters to you up front: guests, quiet hours, the kitchen, the car, how long. It’s much easier to set rules before they move in than after.
4. Renting a room? Put it in writing
If someone asks to rent a room for 30 days, that’s longer than a visit. Get a basic rental agreement and fill out everything, even if it’s your nephew. Rent, deposit, pets, emergency contact, guests, end date. Have them sign it. If you ever need to have them leave, you’ll be glad you did.
5. Moving in with a partner? Talk first
If it’s a romance, have the hard conversations before you share a roof. A lawyer can draw up what’s called a cohabitation agreement. Think of it like a prenup without the wedding: who’s bringing what, who stays if it doesn’t work out, and what happens to things you buy together. Yes, it costs a fee. It’s usually worth it.
6. Renting your own place? You’re not the landlord
If you rent, you can’t evict a guest yourself. Your landlord would have to do it through the court. That can strain your relationship with your landlord, so think hard before you say yes.
This is general guidance from my experience, not legal advice. Laws are different from place to place. For contracts or anything that might end up in court, please talk to a lawyer. If you’d like to talk the situation through first, call me.