Rather watch? Here’s my video on this ↓
Hi, my Saltines. This one matters to me, so please stay with me.
Back when I worked in a hospital, if you had a big surgery you stayed five days, maybe seven. Every day you got a little better, and by the end you were sitting out in the garden getting some fresh air. That’s not how it works anymore. Today people go home the same day after surgeries that used to mean a week in bed. And while you are there, the nurses are stretched about as thin as they can go.
I don’t blame the nurses. They’re doing their best with too many patients. But it means one thing for you: you need an advocate. Someone who is there for you and only you.
Why it matters
If a nurse has five very sick patients, who gets seen first? The squeaky wheel. When you’re in pain or groggy from anesthesia, you can’t always be the squeaky wheel for yourself.
I know because I’ve been that patient. After one surgery I was in so much pain I couldn’t speak. My advocate went to the nurse and said, “Her pain medicine was due twenty minutes ago. Can she have it now?” The board in my room said I was supposed to get up and walk. Day shift said night shift would do it. Night shift said day shift. My advocate asked, “Where is her walk?” And two people came and walked me down the hall.
It’s the little things that turn out to be big things.
What an advocate does
- Speaks up when medicine is late, a walk was missed, or something on the board isn’t happening.
- Remembers what the doctor said on rounds. (“No, the doctor said they’re switching her to the other one.”)
- Notices changes. If your person is getting worse, the nurse might be next door for the next two hours. You’ll see it first.
- Helps with the small stuff like water, the bathroom, a blanket. That frees the nurse for the patient down the hall who has nobody.
How to set it up: make a schedule
If a hospital stay is planned, talk to your family and friends before you go in. Work it out like a relay:
- “You can come right after work? Great, you’ve got 4 to 7.”
- “You can come after the kids are in bed? You’ve got 8 o’clock on.”
- If someone can stay overnight, ask if a recliner can go in the room.
Ideally somebody is there the whole time. I’ve had both friends and family do this for me, and I’m so thankful. (You know who you are.)
Write it down before you go
Your advocate can only speak up if they know your medications, your doctors, your allergies and your wishes. That’s exactly what The Living Legacy Planner is for. One of our readers, Amanda, said it best: her mom had a mild stroke, Amanda lived across the country, and she didn’t have the information she needed to handle things while her mom was in the hospital. Don’t let that be you.
I’m not a doctor and this isn’t medical advice. It’s what I’ve learned from working in a hospital and from being the patient. If you’d like help putting together an advocate plan for someone you love, give me a call.